


Until Morning

by MidnightMew



Series: Until Morning [1]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, hell dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 18:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightMew/pseuds/MidnightMew
Summary: After a rather different hell dream, and the subsequent panic that occurs, Kevin Price makes a discovery about himself.





	Until Morning

**Author's Note:**

> There have been so many fanfics published in the fandom today for some reason, so I thought I'd contribute this thing I've been writing over the past few days

This wasn't Orlando. Kevin looked around, his dreams, usually featuring Disney World in some way or other, had taken him to somewhere else that night. He recognised the place, he didn't want to be here, but here he was. Back in hell again. 

As he walked in, compelled by a force out of his control, he wondered what he had done this time. What he had possibly done that would torment him in his dreams for years to come. 

The hell dreams had been getting more and more frequent, the more and more blasphemous he became. They usually went away after a while, Heavenly Father had evidently decided after two weeks worth of nights in hell, not even that would stop Kevin drinking coffee. 

So this must have been something new. 

 

The landscape of hell was familiar, he had spent far too much time here recently, but something was off, and he couldn't think of anything specific that could've caused the dream on this night in particular. 

Then he saw McKinley. 

The other elder was scantily clad in a red top with so much glitter it would've blinded Kevin, had it not been dark in hell. And his legs, Kevin blushed as he looked at the man, he had on his legs only a pair of tiny red shorts, that were in no way compliant with official garments. 

As he looked at the man he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He knew why he was here. Try as he might to ignore the ever increasing amount of gay thoughts he had been getting recently especially in the presence of the man in front of him. 

He looked up, to the red feather boa round the other's neck, and to his pale face. Upon noticing Kevin's stares, he had the audacity to wink at him. 

He felt the flush on his face intensify further at this, especially as he took a step closer to Kevin. So close he could almost hear him breathing. 

This was wrong. Elder McKinley was the district leader, even if he did admit to having had gay thoughts previously he would never do something like this. 

 

'Stop!' He said out loud, pushing the other man lightly, forcing him to take a step back. 

'Stop?' He asked, his tone of voice making the words practically drip from his lips. 'If you want me to stop when why are you here in hell with me?' He asked, reaching out to cup Kevin's face with his hands. 

He was leaning in now, Kevin desperately trying to convince himself that he didn't want this, that he wasn't gay, that he didn't want to feel the other elders soft lips against his own, and oh god. That's what he wanted. 

He wanted to kiss him. 

But he couldn't be gay. Elder Kevin Price was not gay. Drinking coffee was one thing, but this. Oh no. This could not be happening to him of all people. 

He felt the soft lips of the other elder press into his own, but he barely had time to acknowledge the motion before he was falling, falling away. 

Down...

Down...

Down...

 

Kevin jolted awake, the falling sensation abruptly jerking him out of hell. He looked over at Arnold next to him, who was not as asleep as he had expected. 

'Are you okay buddy?' He asked Kevin as he reached out to take his hand. 

Normally Kevin wouldn't take it, hugs were acceptable he guessed but hand holding was something else. It felt right though. He was going to need courage. 

'Yep, hell dream. Did I wake you up?' He was trying to keep his voice steady, breathe normally, and was with all his will was desperately hoping that the tears in his eyes would stay there, and he would not embarrass himself by crying. 

'You screamed Kevin, it didn't sound like just a normal hell dream. Tell me what happened' he looked up at Kevin, his eyes pleading. 'I want to help.'

Taking a deep breath Kevin began. He couldn't believe that he was actually voicing these thoughts out loud for the first time. 

'In my dream, in my dream, well McKinley was there.'

He looked over to Arnold who was smiling slightly, trying to be encouraging. 

'He, we, well um. He kissed me.'

'And?'

'He's a guy Arnold. And so am I! I'm gay. I like guys.'

He stopped. 

'Oh my god I said it out loud.' He froze, tears streaming down his face, starting to hyperventilate a little with the panic. 'No no no no no! I'm not gay. Not at all. I'm not gay Arnold!' He was almost shouting by this point, and Arnold didn't know what to do. 

'Kevin. I'll be back in one second okay, I'll be right back. Don't worry. I just have to leave for one moment.'

'One moment.' He repeated, the words failing to process in his brain through the panic. 'Okay.'

So he was left alone while Arnold left to get help. 

 

Connor McKinley had fallen asleep expecting to be woken by the sun streaming through the broken curtains the next morning, he had been sleeping more peacefully than he had done in years now the hell dreams had vanished for good with his self acceptance. He had not expected to be roughly shaken awake at around two in the morning by a rather panicked looking Elder Cunningham. 

'What is it Arnold?' He asked, eyes still shut, before rolling over to go back to sleep. 

'It's Kevin, Connor,' he said, making Connor wonder how he learned his first name, 'something happened in his hell dream, I think he might be having some kind of breakdown. He keeps crying and he won't stop shaking.' 

At this, Connor was clambering out of bed, and pulling on a shirt, as he was one of the many elders who had embraced the lack of rules when it came to garments during nighttime. 

 

Barely a moment later, he was lead into the room by Arnold, where Kevin was sitting up on the bed, now clutching the covers around him. 

'Kevin,' he said to the boy, for that's what he was, only nineteen years old and clearly terrified, 'is it okay if I touch you?' He reached out his hand, but waited for the others short nod before placing it on his back. 

'Can you talk to me?' He asked, his tone gentle, 'Could you tell me what happened?' 

'I-it was a hell dream,' he said, between sobs which had still not subsided. 'Um, y-you were there, and- and-' he broke off, turning to Connor and leaning his head into the others chest. Connor wrapped his arms around the crying boy sympathetically. He knew what Kevin was going through. He knew how hard it was to accept yourself, with all the internalised homophobia and the strict environment they had grown up with. Being told they were sinners, that their mere existence was something to be ashamed of. 

'Shh, it's okay Kevin,' he said, running his hands through the other boys hair. 'I understand how hard this is for you, but I promise it gets better. It really does.'

He stopped crying and looked up at Connor, eyes still brimming with tears. 'I-it does?' He asked, and his tone of voice, so disbelieving and surprised made Connor want to hunt down the people who had drilled it into this amazing, sweet, brilliant, perfect boy's head that there could possibly be anything wrong with him. 

'I promise you.' He said, as he tucked the covers over Kevin.  'Do you want me to let you get to sleep now? I mean I'll let you sleep in tomorrow of course but you must be tired.' 

'Stay,' said Kevin, his voice muffled by the covers up around his mouth, 'please don't go.'

He climbed into the bed next to Kevin, glancing over at Arnold who had fallen straight back asleep once he knew Kevin was in safe hands. He put an arm around the other boy, who despite being much taller than he was, and just broader in general, felt so small, cuddled into his body, his own still shaking with soft sobs.  

'I'm here.' He said, 'I'll be here till morning so just relax. It'll all be okay.' 

And as Kevin relaxed into the hug, he felt he had reason to believe that the words Connor were saying might have some truth to them after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please give me a comment- let me know what I was alright at and how I can improve my writing- and kudos are always much appreciated


End file.
